The Four-figure Gift

I walk through the market, past the 49-99

And I spot the big, pink, fluffy toy.

And I’m instantly lost in wishful thought, Boy!

Now that’s gonna be for my valentine!

I reach for my wallet, intending to pay,

For a gift well-chosen, sure as day!

When…

“Hold on, son!” echoes a voice,

“Thou shalt not waste money on a bad choice!”

Then…

A small voice counters in the back of my head,

“Any gift is a good gift, so it is said.

Besides,” says small voice, “Which girl would say no

To a gift from a boy who simply refuses to grow?”

“SHE would,” says big voice, lost

In watery thoughts of the 6 months past.

Small voice is angry now. “Just have conviction!

She will love it, and accept your devotion.”

“And in her moment of happiness true,

She’ll take your hand, and look into you

Give you that very special gaze and say

The three words that sound joyous any day.”

Big voice is greedy now, lost in thought,

Where SHE is overwhelmed by the gift she got,

Cries, “Vishy!” and comes running into my arms

And admits she is bewitched by my charms…

“OK,” says big voice, “I believe you.

Just this once, I’ll relent and follow you.”

I walk into the store, guided by my heart,

See the price tag and give a start.

“Hold your horses!” says my scandalized mind,

“I will not be privy to pointless pursuits of this kind!”

Says my heart, “Shut up, mind!”

“Think of how mellifluous it would sound,

When SHE expresses happiness profound

And says the words that make the world go round!”

Says my mind, capitulating to greed,

“Go ahead, Vishy, please proceed.”

I try religiously not to go ballistic

Over the four-figure price tag, set in plastic.

“Gift-wrap it,” I order condescendingly

“At least something in this bad world is free.”

The day dawns early for me, bright and sunny.

I dress carefully, yet

Look like an Easter Bunny.

“Dammit!” I throw the dress on to the couch.

“Can’t even dress well!” I think with a grouch.

Choosing a dress that makes me look refined,

I pick up the gift and the carnation.

“Four figures!” echoes hollow in my mind

All ‘long the way to my destination.

She is standing there, looking resplendent

In gown of satin and golden pendant.

My jaw drops down in wonder, all the way,

I try not to fumble and wish her Happy V-Day.

She accepts the gift and gives me the gaze

And the rest of the evening passes in a haze.

I feel like I’m the strongest man around,

But then she says goodbye, and I fall to the ground.

Recovering, I trudge home, sated but weary,

She never once said the words, why didn’t she

Although she knew it would’ve made me happy?

And this time there is no voice to guide me.

Oh yes there is, but these are unsaid words

I’d penned long ago in my precious diary.

“We have passed on, beyond mere words as such,

Of I love you and I care and I’ll be there,

How we communicate is by a look and a touch,

Which says more than even an ardent prayer.”

I stare ahead, though not looking at the road.

Where I’m looking is within myself.

I investigate, do I really want her

As a classmate, a friend, a lover, MORE,

And in that truthful moment is it clear,

YES is the answer, so why should I fear?

She may not say it out 24/7

But I’m gonna hear it from her every time when

She looks at me, cooks for me, smiles at me, fights for me,

Waits for me faithfully, argues with me playfully.

I cry myself to sleep, for now I know.

Tears of joy, and a heart filled with hope.

And in my sleep as I restlessly shift

I’m already planning the next four-figure gift…